- parent: *yells at you for 20 minutes*
- parent: why are you crying
The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realest shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
i wish there was a non-assholeish way to say “our friendship has run its course, you make me uncomfortable with your feelings and a lot of shit you do pisses me off bye”
if someone unintentionally says something offensive and then shortly apologizes afterwards for the love of gOD LET IT GO THEY DIDN’T MEAN TO OFFEND AND THEY SAID SORRY OK WE ARE HUMAN SOMETIMES WE DON’T THINK BEFORE WE SPEAK IT HAPPENS IT’S LIFE WE LEARN FROM MISTAKES
- Tyra Banks: So why didnt you do the photoshoot?
- Model: Well my leg was cut off and i had a swarm of angry bees attack me
- Tyra Banks: Thats no excuse i remember one time when that happened to me and i still worked it and was fierce
I’m so glad you just said “no homo” after complimenting me
I was real worried for a sec that I’d have to bend you over a counter and fuck you.